Thursday, February 21, 2013

A Strange thing happened today.

So I've been on edge. Since the whole Newtown shooting I've been on edge. I didn't really realize it until today when in one moment the "edge" was gone. Until today,  I've been living in fear and worry. I've been more suspicious (read- judgemental) of those around me. Always thinking the worst of people, and living life fearfully and no longer living joyfully. That is what I've let this world do to me. There are two particular incidents that come to mind. A few Sundays ago while about half way through mass, a strange man walked in and sat in the pew of the people who at the moment were taking up the gifts. He had tattoos on his neck, a beanie hat on his head, a long "dagger-like" earring in one ear and wasn't dressed very nicely... not your typical "St. Luker." I immediately thought the worst... He is going to pull out a gun and kill us all here in the church. It was going to be all over FOX news... shooting at St. Luke in Nicholasville, KY. I was imagining all this in my head. Then he got up and walked into the back of the church (the vestibule). This really got my heart racing... what is he doing back there???  Loading his rifle??? ugh. I literally wrapped my arms around both Luke and Emma. Nothing happened (obviously)... turns out this man has been attending daily mass at St. Luke. sigh.... so judgmental of me! Why was I so convinced everyone was bad?

A few weeks later Emma, Isaac and I were sitting in Subway having lunch. A man in a long oversized black parka with the hood over his head walked into Subway with his head down and hands in his pockets. Okay... this time I really thought he was going to rob the place or shoot someone or something. What is wrong with me?? He didn't. He walked up the counter and asked if Subway was hiring and then walked out the door. This "man" I thought was going to rob us, was just a kid looking for a job. sigh. A few days later I saw this kid walking down Edgewood Drive. He seemed so lost.... searching for something.

I've been checking my door to make sure they are locked each night.... two and three times, jumping a noises in the night.... been distrusting of people.... so confused..... caught up in this world... in MY safety.... in my well-being.

Fast forward to today... After preschool today, Emma and I went down to Great Clips to get her hair trimmed. As we were heading home I saw the kid in the long black parka standing on the corner by Hardees. This time his hood was down and he was holding a sign, "Will Work for Food." He seemed so sad.... such a different image than when I had seen him weeks before when the hood over this head... just so sure he was going to rob the Subway or worse kill us. He was so vulnerable standing there in the cold.... begging for help.

I could've just driven passed him, but I couldn't. There was some reason I keep seeing this kid. I turned the car around. Headed to Kroger. Got Emma and Isaac out of the car and into the cold. We grabbed some apples, milk, and a $25 Kroger gift card. As I was waiting in the check out line. The man with the tattoos on his neck and dagger earring I'd seen at mass got in line RIGHT BEHIND me. He was getting some groceries with who I assume to be his wife and child. So much less intimidating this time. He of course had no idea who I was or how I'd judged him just weeks before. God was working on me.

I drove back to the corner where the boy in the black parka was standing. I parked as close as I could and got out. I left Isaac and Emma in the car for a minute. I walked up to him and handed him the Kroger gift card and told him it was for him. His eyes lit up. I said, "God Bless You." He looked at me and in the meekest, "lispy-est", and kindest voice said, "God Bless You." I turned around and walked back and got in the car. I began to cry. In that moment I am not sure who helped whom more. He picked up his sign and put it in his backpack and walked toward Kroger.

All the sudden as I sat in the car... I felt a peace... the fear I had seemed to be gone in that moment. Honestly I can say I felt weight lifted from my shoulders... literally. In that moment, somehow my faith in humanity came back. God was sending me a message. I did not need to worry. He was holding me in the palm of his hand. He was protecting me. I needn't worry any longer. I needed to live joyfully again. and I am. Thank you God for the lesson today. I feel peace. again.

Monday, October 29, 2012

4 Months Old!

Isaac was four months old on 10/12/12. He is getting so big, 16lbs 12 oz. and 26.5 inches long... tall boy.  Wearing mostly 9 month clothes, even some 12 months needed for his length. This age is so much fun. He is laughing, smiling LOTS, talking LOTS. He is rolling over both directions, though he rolls over more front to back. He recently moved into his crib from the bassinet. He did fine, me not so much... I missed having him in our room. Just last weekend he had his first bite of "real" food. I had made some avocado baby food for him and he loved it. :) He is such a sweet sweet baby, but he is growing up TOO TOO quickly!

Cloth Diapered Booty!

So, I love cloth diapering. I really do. And seriously there is nothing quite as cute as a cloth diapered baby booty... so fluffy. When I was pregnant with Luke the whole idea of putting a diaper on a baby totally freaked me out and I had no idea who to do it. I quickly learned. When I was pregnant with Emma, I thought briefly about cloth diapering, but after researching it, I quickly became overwhelmed. So many different options for diapering a booty. So I didn't do it. With Isaac, family and friends stocked us up with disposable diapers for the first 8 weeks of his life. As the stash of diapers we were given began to dwindle, I really started to research this whole cloth diaper concept. I am becoming a bit "crunchier" the older I get. Though I still don't consider myself  "crunchy," rather a "soggy granola." haha. So many reasons to cloth diaper... much more cost effective and better for baby's booty. A bonus is that I've heard cloth diapered babies' potty train more quickly. we'll see though... both Luke and Emma potty trained pretty quickly.

After researching this time, I began to get overwhelmed again. If you don't know the cloth diaper "lingo" it can be quite intimidating. So I decided to talk to my cousin Hillary who had cloth diapered her little girl. She was done cloth diapering and offer me her diapers!  She had prefolds and 2 covers. This was a great start for me. I practiced for about a week and loved it. So much less intimidating when you just do it instead of reading about it. :)

So at this point, I decided I needed some more diaper covers. It was so much fun to shop for them... so many cute colors and patterns to cover baby's booty. I bought 3 size 1 covers and 4 size 2 covers. This has been plenty so far. Hillary had LOTS of prefolds, so I haven't had to buy those yet. I also decided to use the BUMGENIUS 4.0 pocket diapers for nighttime diapering and "on the go" diapering and these are quicker and easier to change... much like a disposables. I bought six of them. So my overall expense thus far has been about $120, thanks to Hillary who supplied me with the prefolds. I am certain I've already made my money back at this point. As Isaac gets older I hope to buy some more BUMGENIUS as well. As I  know they will be easier to change as Isaac get squirmier.

As far as storing the diapers I am just using a wetbag for now... and I am not rinsing them. He is still exclusively breastfed, so the diapers aren't stinky yet. This will change soon though with the introduction of solids. I also have a couple small wetbags for our "on the go" cloth diapering.  I usually wash diaper every day or sometimes every other day.

During this process I have also decided to make my own homemade reusable wipes. I've seen several recipes on Pinerest as well as a friend posting one on her blog. Using those as guidelines I came up with my own concoction and it is working great! No chemicals on my Isaac's booty! :)  I cut up one oversized receiving blanket. (Ideally you want to sew along the edges, but I can't sew and don't own a sewing machine- guess that should be my next adventure!) Put those in a bowl. Then in a separate bowl add one cup water, some olive olive (maybe a tbsp), a few drops tea tea oil, then I add a few drops of melaleuca oil, and a few drops of melaleuca soap. Mix these ingredients and pour over blanket pieces. These wipes last about 1-2 weeks then I wash all of them using cloth diaper detergent and remake. It was worked wonderfully.

As far as diaper rash goes, there is A LOT less of it. He did break out once and I knew I couldn't do traditional diaper creams with cloth, so I asked my cloth diapering friends on FACEBOOK and found that coconut oil work for diaper rash. So I've used that as well as my Zija oil. 

I seriously love cloth diapering! We've had many successful trips out while cloth diapering, as well as a long weekend trip to St. Louis where we used cloth the whole time. Super cute diapers, no chemical filled diapers and wipes, less leaks, less diaper rash... so far so good.  My next project is homemade baby food... more on that later. :)


Sunday, September 23, 2012

The week that was.

So last week wasn't a good one. We discovered a leak in the water line to our fridge and uncovered damage to our floor and some of our dry wall. We dealt with our insurance company which was surprisingly easy. Thank you, Kentucky Farm Bureau. And we've been dealing with very nice contractors as well. But, our kitchen is a disaster area. The entire kitchen floor, the laundry room floor, and the floor in the half bath have been ripped out. They also had to take some cabinets out and the dishwasher. Our kitchen table is in our living room. Everything in our kitchen cabinets in out in the garage. Our house is in a bit of a disarray. I listened to so much banging in this house this week that I think I hear it in my sleep. The insurance is going to cover the cost, but we have a $1000 deductible, so our October beach trip is canceled. sad.

Then, Thursday night at soccer practice, Luke turned his ankle for the second time in 5 months... he has his dad's ankles. He would not walk on it at all that night or the next day. So we ended up back at the doctor's office and x-rays again to find out it was just a sprain. But, the hairline fracture they thought they saw in the x-ray in the spring was no longer there, so that was good. Luke had to miss his soccer game on Saturday, he was so bummed and I was too. He has four soccer games this week, and I am afraid he will miss them all and the season just started. The dr. said if he could bear weight on his foot and not feel pain, that is when he can play again. I hope that is soon.

With the mess that is our house and poor Luke's ankle... I started to feel sad. Angry... why was all this happening? I know... totally selfish, right? I was feeling so much self-pity. I was so upset there would be no beach trip. I was so frustrated with my disaster of a house. I was upset Luke was going to have to miss soccer this season. just not feeling myself. at all.

Then I got a huge dose of perspective. I saw on facebook that a fellow Zija distributor, only a few years older than me, was just diagnosed with Stage 3 rectal cancer. Then my mom called and told me about a teacher a RDES whose 13 year old daughter was just diagnosed with bone cancer. I have a dear friend dealing with a very nasty divorce. Made me realize how selfish my "struggles" and my "bad week" was. I mean, so I don't get to go to the beach.. .big deal.. we can do later. And I get a new kitchen floor and I never liked the tile we had in the kitchen anyways. Luke's ankle will heal. He doesn't have bone cancer. Thankful for perspective this weekend. And praying for these dear friends going through these hard times.

I've been blessed with an amazing husband, three beautiful healthy children and a wonderful home that God gave us. For all this I am thankful. and I am thankful for perspective. Last week really wasn't bad after all.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Emma is a Preschooler!

 Emma started at Garden Gate Preschool this past Tuesday.  This is the same place Luke went to preschool and she absolutely loves it already! :)  She has already made a few new friends... that girl makes friends wherever she goes.  That makes me happy.
 The first day, the parents got to stay with the kiddos.  Emma decorated a seahorse using tissue paper and glue.  She had lots of fun with this, and then the seahorse got hung from the ceiling.  Then, one of her teacher's, Mrs. Perkins read us the story of the "Three Little Fishies and the Big Bad Shark." 
Emma loves school and wanted to stay longer the first day.  Today was her first day at school by herself.  She did fine and walked right in and never looked back.  I am thankful for this... she is quite independent already.  I only shed a small tear this time... it wasn't so bad.   She will go to preschool for two and half hours two days a week.  This will be great for her and give mommy and Isaac some good bonding time.  :) 

Funny story about today after school, I asked her what she did at school and she said to me, looking perplexed, "well, mom, we didn't get to change clothes today."  haha.  Before her first day, we had to pack a bag of clothes to keep at school "in case of accidents."  Well she had taken a lot of time and effort to decide what she was going to put in that bag.  haha.

I know she will have a wonderful year at Garden Gate, as long as she is okay without getting to change clothes at school! :)

Friday, August 31, 2012

Another summer gone.

Well another summer is almost over.  This is the unofficial last weekend of summer and the pool will close after Labor Day.  This usually makes me very sad, but we are already well into our back to school "routine."  But I am sad, that due to the rain left over from what was Hurricane Isaac, it looks like this WON'T be a good pool weekend.  sigh.

Luke started second grade on the 15th.  He has the same wonderful teacher and the same class of kids for second that he had for first.  I love this looping thing they do.  So, he eased right back into school like it was no big deal.  He just loves school and is doing so well.  Andy is also coaching Luke's soccer team again, so that is keeping us busy as well. They've been practicing for a few weeks and games start next weekend. I love watching Andy coach Luke's team... such great bonding time for them.  Again this year, Luke has asked he to come into school each day and pick him up instead of using the car line.  I am doing it again, because I know before too long it will no longer be "cool" to have mom come in and get him.  He even still lets me hold his hand in the parking lot.  Such a sweet sweet handsome boy.  love him.

Miss Emma will start preschool the day after Labor Day.  She will be going to Garden Gate where Luke went.  Luke loved it and I know Emma will as well.  Emma is becoming such a wonderful young lady.  She makes friends so easily.  She made so many new friends at the pool this summer.  I am so proud of her for that.  I have no doubt she will make many friends in preschool.  She also started back to dance class last week.  She is now the oldest in her class... and this year she really looks and acts the oldest as well.  She still loves dance class and has already made a few new friends in her new class, since many of her friends have moved up to the next class.

And my sweet Isaac just keeps growing and getting cuter and cuter.  At his two month check-up (two weeks ago) he was 14.1 lbs (85%) and 24.75 inches (99%).  So he is a big boy.   He is smiling and laughing and "talking" to us a lot.  He is sleeping through the night as well.  I love this age.  He is such a chill baby and for that I am thankful.

Well Andy survived another round of layoffs at Lexmark and for that we are ALL thankful.  He is staying super busy at work, being a soccer coach and still leading the DTS at church.  That man is a Saint.  love him.  I'm staying busy being mom.... nothing else I'd rather do.  We are blessed. so blessed.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Isaac's Birth Story

Time to get this one out there, before I forget.  :)  So my OB thinks I am one of those women who doesn't go into labor on her own.  Luke showed no signs of coming, neither did Emma, so I was induced with both of them.  Also,  my mom carried my sister 3 weeks over and me almost 4 weeks passed her due date.  So, due to the many complications that can occur if baby comes too far passed the due date, I was induced again.

At my 39 week appointment there were NO signs Isaac was ready to come.  No dilation, no thinning out... nothing.  This was a stubborn Johns' boy already.   So I was scheduled for an induction the following Tuesday morning, the day before my due date.  Dr. Steele said she would let me go up to a week passed my due date, but she felt like the baby was already a pretty good size and I was ready. 



That is a picture of me with the kiddos before we left for the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital at around 12:15AM.  After checking in and the like... they tried some natural methods to get labor started, but that was not doing much.  Then I was given some prostogladins around 2AM.  I felt like this was really working and I was hoping I would NOT need pitocin this time.  When the nurse came and checked me around 6AM... I was just sure she was going to tell me I was at least 4-5cms.  I had been feeling some pretty good contractions... nothing terribly painful.  My body had done this before, so I was just sure this baby would come quickly.

The nurse told me I had thinned out and was at about a 1 or 2... and Dr. Steele would be here to check on me and then we would start the pitocin.  sigh.  really?!?!  At this moment I KNEW for sure this baby was a boy.

So we started the pitocin around 8AM.  Emma was born very quickly after the pitocin started, so figured we'd have a baby soon.  Dr. Steele came back and checked me again around 10AM... still just 2-3 cms.  So... she broke my water... so painful.  I had my water broken with the other two... but I also had the epidural with them.   She felt very confident this baby would be here fast now.  12 PM... 4-5 cms... still moving slowly.  DEFINITELY a BOY!  Somewhere about 3-4PM... I starting feeling LOTS of pressure like I needed to push... I told the nurse and she checked me and I was only at a 6.  She looked a bit concerned.  She told me to lay on my side. So I did.  She came back in and checked again.  still 6.  double sigh.  WHAT IS GOING ON?!?   I flipped to the other side.  checked again... still 6.  At this point she said the baby was trying to come, but was face up.   which makes it very hard for the mom.  The back of the head should come first, not the face. She suggested I get up on all fours and rock back and forth.  I did this for 30 minutes y'all.  30 minutes.  I remember rocking back and forth and praying... praying hard this baby would flip.

During my rocking back and forth on all fours,  there was a knock on the door, it was a high school friend who is a nurse and she was coming to check on me.  I'm in a hospital gown on all fours rocking back  and forth... kind of not my finest moment... but she was nice.

When the nurse came back and checked on me I could tell she was worried.  She told me that the baby had turned and I was 10cm.  She was going to call Dr. Steele. The rocking on all fours had done the trick.

At this point the pressure was SO intense.  I kept telling the nurse I was feeling LOTS of pressure.  I swear I think Isaac was about to fall out. 

It seemed like it took Dr. Steele an eternity to get there... though it probably was only about 20 minutes... I really have no idea how long it took.  She got everything ready and I started to push...

3 Pushes... the baby is here!!  "It's a BOY!"  Andy yelled.  :)   5:58 PM.  June 12th.  8 pounds 11 oz. 21 inches. Almost 18 hours after our arrival at the hospital.  He was absolutely perfect.

At SJE, they do what is called "kangaroo care" after the baby is first born.  The baby is put on the mother's chest for the first hour after birth.  That was an amazing hour of time with him.  He hardly even cried.  Such great bonding time.  While laying on my chest the nurses cleaned him up, then everyone left.  It was just me, Andy, and sweet Isaac.  He nursed just moments after he was born... like a little champ.


 Donna, my mom and the kids were out in the waiting room.  Andy went and told them, "It's a boy!"  He loved being able to say that to them. Then they all came back to see him.  The kids absolutely loved their little brother.   So many special moments I will never forget.




You really could not wipe the smiles off those little faces.  They loved their little brother.  Emma kept wanting to touch him and she showed him an outfit that she and Granny had picked out for him.  so many special memories. We are now a family of 5 and couldn't be more happy!